Not So Friendly Skies

First off, Chris, the fact that you called me at 3:15AM, 3:30AM and 5:21AM and had not met Britney Spears on YOUR way to rehab, pisses me off! 3 hours of sleep to move across the country, not nearly enough. I have managed to pretty much stay numb for the last 2 weeks on my move and I am relishing the fact that I ran into so many assholes on the way out to St. Louis or I would have been a quivering mess in the "waiting area" at Bellingham airport -- too small to be called a terminal. After asking me how many bags I was checking, the not so pleasant ticket agent told me I'd have to pay $25 for the 8 pounds my suitcase was over weight. 8 pounds, which is $3.125 a pound. That is a little excessive don't you think? I was offered the option of moving stuff into my other checked bag. One look at the zipper pulling at the sides, let me know that wasn't an option. Too tired to make a fuss, I simply handed her the credit card. While already paying more money to the airline, I tried to purchase an upgrade. I wanted the comfort and PEACE of first class. She told me I'd have to do that in Seattle. F-i-n-e! So far the flight was early enough that I didn't see anyone under 3 feet tall lurking about. Now security. I was feeling like this would be my easiest trip through security in years. Checked baggage meant beauty products were safely tucked in my suitcase, 3 ounces or less be damned! Try again, apparently a bottle of hand lotion and 2 lip glosses hiding in the bottom my purse pissed off the security Nazis. The fact that I didn't have a plastic, zip-lock baggie pissed me off because I threw $40 worth of crap in the garbage. This is when the angry was secured and any impending tears avoided.

The bitch that was named Cathy is what awaited me at SEATAC. First off all, when I ask top purchase a first class upgrade, telling me none are available could have saved us both a freakin' headache. Sans the obvious explanation, I call my mom to get on-line to see if she can do this seemingly easy task. Nope, no easy button here. Toll free number? Finally, a pleasant human on the other end of the phone told me first class was sold out. Was that difficult? Did the lady working at the gate not have this information.

Had the first class fiasco been my last interaction with Cathy I might not be so bitter. However, looking at the seat next to me I realized the man that was sitting there charging his laptop, left with the cord but not the laptop. Like a good citizen that didn't take note of what the non-descript man sitting next to her looked like, I politely walk over to Cathy and tell her that someone left there laptop sitting on the bench. I have seen this type of disclosure of an empty plastic bag in an airport lead to 7 burly security guards running and diving on an empty bag. The electronic equipment merely had Cathy snipe at me, not my problem if someone steals it. Ah, O.K. Good thing my lip gloss was too dangerous to make it into the gate but an abandoned laptop is not her problem.

Back to why I wanted first class to begin with...kids. Don't get me wrong, I like kids but my experience tells me that a plane and kids mix like water and electricity. I get on the plane and realize I have a bulk head, window seat and let out a sigh of relieve that I may get some rest. I should know better! Let's just say I found out on the Seattle to St. Louis plane ride the child constantly slapping the tray up and down against the seat is worse than one continually kicking the seat.

Stay tuned for the next installment for the fun that has been the car rental and hotel stay...